Overcoming Adversity: A BIO Girl's Journey to Empowerment | Missy Heilman & Gabby Wolf
The BIO Girls Podcast
Mental Health Awareness Month
Featuring: Missy Heilman & Gabby Wolf
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
At BIO Girls, we are committed to helping girls learn about and improve their mental wellness. In fact, mental wellness is one of the four key pillars of the BIO Girls program. During the month of May, BIO Girls Director of Programming and Research, Beth Salafia, will be discussing mental health and wellness topics that are relevant to parents and adolescents in our community. To learn more about BIO Girls visit www.biogirls.org.
Thank you to our friends at Bell Bank for making our 2024 Mental Health Awareness Month series possible!
Season 3, Ep. 2
Overcoming Adversity:
A BIO Girl's Journey to Empowerment
Meet Our Episode Guests:
Missy Heilman is the Founder and CEO of BIO Girls. As the fearless leader of the BIO Girls organization, Missy has paved the way for positive change in adolescent girls throughout the Midwest. She has also made it possible for thousands to volunteer to make a difference in young girls’ lives in their community.
Gabby Wolf is a long-time BIO Girls participant from the early years of BIO Girls. Currently, she attends Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. After aging out of the BIO Girls program, Gabby returned to volunteer to mentor the next generation of girls.
About The Episode:
As a blast from the past, Missy interviews Gabby a participant from one of the very first years of the program, who later returned to volunteer as a program mentor.
Dive into Gabby Wolf's inspiring story, a BIO Girls participant who transformed from a shy kid to a mentor. In this heartwarming episode, Gabby discusses overcoming school struggles, the impact of mentorship, and paying it forward.
Listen to the full episode, on Spotify:
Show Notes:
Beth Salafia, Ph.D
00:01
Hello, hello and thanks for tuning in. My name is Beth Salafia and I'm the Director of Programming and Research at BIO Girls. This month, as you may know, is Mental Health Awareness Month. At BIO Girls we are committed to helping girls learn about and improve their mental wellness. In fact, mental wellness is one of the four key pillars of the BIO Girls program. During the month of May, we at BIO Girls are doing a short podcast series to discuss mental health and wellness topics that are relevant to parents and adolescents in our community. Thanks to our friends at Bell Bank for making this series on mental health possible. And thank you for tuning in.
Missy Heilman
00:36
Hello, it's Missy Heilman, CEO of BIO Girls. I am really excited for today's podcast I have with me Gabby Wolf. Gabby is a longtime BIO Girls participant. She also served as a junior mentor and a mentor in our program for a couple of years, and now is a college student at Concordia College in Morehead, Minnesota. Welcome Gabby.
Gabby Wolf
01:00
Hi. Thanks for having me today Missy.
Missy Heilman
01:03
So fun to catch up with you and and reconnect. It's been a couple of years since we've seen each other. The last time I saw you, let's tell this funny story. Well, it's funny now that it's two years out. The last time I saw you was at a BIO Girl session and we are preparing for the finale 5K. You were on your way to the 5K and tell us what happened.
Gabby Wolf
01:29
So I was going past our trusty old Costco here on veterans and suddenly I feel this big jolt from behind and I'm like, whoa, like what was this? I had gotten hit and then before I knew it I hit the car in front of me and then here I am thinking, oh I need to be to a BIO Girls 5K here soon. What am I gonna do? So I remember calling Missy and Betsy and just being like, oh my gosh, like I'm so, so sorry but I just got into an accident. I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to the 5K today. It was very unfortunate and just lovely timing on my end.
Missy Heilman
02:08
Well you couldn't help it, but we had some pretty disappointed little gals who were hoping to finish the season with you by their side. But we worked it out and all, all is well. Your car is okay, you're okay. The girls crossed the finish line so, so we made it through the day. So Gabby, tell us about your time in BIO Girls.
Gabby Wolf
02:31
So I started BIO Girls when I was in second grade and I believe I was done when I was either in sixth or seventh grade. And when I first started BIO Girls I was very skeptical of just the environment. I mean no one had really been there before. It was just new to everyone, including the mentors and Missy. So it was very hard just to get to know everybody right away without having like a familiar face or just knowing really what we got ourself into. But I remember my mentors always trying to get to know me and remembering just small little details about me, which allowed me to kind of come out of my shell when they would have questions for me like how was this or how was that? And just remembering small little things so that they could just make comments and that would make me feel like they were really working to get to know me.
Gabby Wolf
03:22
And after having a few of these mentors who just made it so hard not to like love them and get to know them and just come out of your shell, I was quite talkative after that I believe. So after I just came out of my shell and was finally just giving everything a chance, I really liked hearing the different kind of types of bullying we heard about or just the different lessons. And that really helped me as me myself was going through a hard time in school, just making friends and you know, trying to get along with different girls and constantly having like a different issue during school. So it was really nice to have just an outlet to come and everyone was able to just be there for you without actually knowing what you were going through. And I think that was so beneficial for not only me but everybody else in the program. And I think coming back each season and also seeing other girls made it a whole lot easier just to pick up where you left off. So I really, really enjoyed that and I think it has helped me so much grow as a person and helped me through some really difficult times in school.
Missy Heilman
04:35
Well what you're referring to Gabby was you were a participant probably in the second year that I ever ran BIO Girls. So you were kind of one of the Guinea pigs of the program, which was really fun. And it was fun to watch you grow as as your participation went on over the years. And you're right, I did see you kind of blossom and become more confident and talkative when you came to the program. So you talked a little bit about having some struggles in school and some bullying. Do you want to give us a little bit more detail about some of the things that you faced as a elementary school student and even into middle school?
Gabby Wolf
05:19
Absolutely. So I would say more into middle school for me is when I face some of these harder struggles just, you know, this simple old girl doesn't wanna be your friend because you don't like this or like that or you can't all have, you know, the same friends or one day they're mad at you because you said this three weeks ago. Just the petty little issues that girls have. I mean even to this day I still see it, but it was bad. And I remember going to the counselor's office very frequently and just, I didn't know what to do. I was so worried about just going to school about what people were gonna say to me, what people were gonna say about me. It was just really, really difficult. But I remember always coming to BIO Girls and not only my mentor but Missy made it a mission to get to know me and make sure that things were going well in school because she knew I was struggling.
Gabby Wolf
06:09
It was kind of written on my face and it was just honestly amazing for her to just take me aside and be like, what is going on? Like, do you need to talk about anything? Like that was just absolutely amazing. And I remember my mom was so grateful that I had someone to talk to outside of like school and just that environment where this was happening. And I remember there was this one time in particular where I'd just gotten off of school from like a rough day and I was telling Missy when I got there, what was going on 'cause my mom had said, you know, it was a bad day and Missy said, okay, let's talk about it. So she pulled me aside and I remember later that night going on Facebook, I saw just a little post about Missy saying, it's really hard to see these children like struggle and come to BIO Girls and like have to pull it together.
Gabby Wolf
06:59
But I remember at the end of the post she had said, hang in there sweet G. And I knew she was talking about me and I just knew that she was there for me and we had such a connection that I don't think I've ever had with anyone before, but she understood me in that moment. So I think that was just the best thing that could have happened to me in the time when I was facing these issues. And I think just moving on, having these issues, it was so much easier to know that there were people there for me, especially Missy.
Missy Heilman
07:31
Well thanks Gabby for sharing that story. I didn't mean it to be something that you know kind of lifted me up, but it lifted me up and I I'm so grateful that you shared that and that we were able to make that connection in that really critical point in your life. So there's something you said in there that I want to dig into a little bit more and it was about this, this fear of going to school and the pressure of going to school. What was it exactly that you feared? Was it academic? Was it social? Was it other people? Talk a little bit more about that.
Gabby Wolf
08:08
You know, the hardest part about going to school is you're so worried about you know, your grades and am I going to pass this class? Am I going to do well on this assignment? Am I going to, you know, did I study enough for this test? Well I feel like that was different for me and not only me but like other girls that were also participating in BIO Girls. It was just hard going to school and being so anxious about what people were going to say about you. You know, you didn't maybe have the most friends. I remember having a few that I knew would start stuff about me every single day and it was so hard just going to school and just having to pull myself together and not be just kind of jumping out of my skin and that fear. But it was just, it's really hard going to school and worrying about things other than academics because you're there for school. So I think especially at lunch for me I was so worried about who am I gonna sit with? I mean, what if they have said something to me earlier and they can't sit with them or they won't allow me to, or they'll just ignore me. So it was really difficult trying to control the, the anxiety that I would face going to school each day.
Missy Heilman
09:17
Hmm. So let me reiterate, it was not academic pressure that it caused this anxiety about going to school. It was the social dynamics of school that caused this anxiety in this fear.
Gabby Wolf
09:32
Yes.
Missy Heilman
09:35
How did you get through it Gabby? How did you talk about what you did at lunch and some of the ways that you found to cope?
Gabby Wolf
09:45
I mean as being like a sixth grader, you couldn't leave school campus, you couldn't really escape the lunchroom. Like all your teachers would drop you off at school and like at lunch, at school you had to stay there. So what I did is I would, you know, I had a few friends and they just really didn't treat me the best, but I remember always having to go to the counselor just to get out of like get like lunch, school lunch. Like the worst 30 minutes of my day was going to lunch. And it was so hard to try and find somewhere where I felt like I wanted to be there and like I was also wanted by other people. So I remember going to the counselor and that was just hard for her and for me because she has other students she needs to see and I mean I need to go to lunch, I need to eat lunch, I need to make new friends. Like clearly there's something going on here that needs to be addressed that can't be addressed because I have nowhere to go and I have nobody else to talk to.
Missy Heilman
10:44
Hmm. Is it because of these reasons Gabby, that you decided to pay it forward as a mentor with the BIO Girls program?
Gabby Wolf
10:53
Yes, I think just the simple fact of having Missy there and just mentors, they didn't even really need to give you advice but just listen to you and listening to how you feel and just understanding you and being there for you is what made me want to do that for another little girl.
Missy Heilman
11:08
Hmm. Do you have any stories of your time as a mentor that you would like to share?
Gabby Wolf
11:16
I did have this one BIO Girl and she was just a little bit different from other girls. You know, she was struggling with her own things in school and at home and it was really my mission to make sure that this little girl felt like she was wanted at BIO Girls. And even if like no other girl, which this would never happen, but no other girl wanted to be friends with her. I was going to be her friend and I was going to listen to her and help her through anything she needed to help with. So I remember I would always stick by her side and she wasn't the quickest at running, but I mean none of us were, we were young so I remember I would always walk with her as much as she wanted. I would try to push her and get her to run and if she didn't want to that's fine. But I remember it was always just nice and I could see a smile on her face when she knew she had somebody there with her and she wasn't just alone in the back not running.
Missy Heilman
12:13
So did you see growth with her? And it sounds like you formed a connection with her.
Gabby Wolf
12:19
Yes, I remember she really wouldn't talk to anybody besides me and I had a pretty big impact on her. I believe not only me, just BIO Girls in general because you could see her smile come out every time she would come to BIO Girls, you know, when she first started coming she would hide behind her mom didn't want to come in, you know, it's different, it's new. But by the end of our 12 weeks she had really grown and really wanted to be there and she was excited to come and see everybody and know that she was going to have a good time and there was somebody there for her.
Missy Heilman
12:54
That's pretty cool. I mean it's fun to pay it forward. It's a whole reason I started BIO Girls and I love giving the opportunity to others like you to be able to do just that as well. So thank you for being a mentor with the program. You are now a college student. You actually went to college a year early, you decided to forego your senior year of high school. So talk about that decision.
Gabby Wolf
13:23
I honestly think this is one of the best decisions I've ever made just for myself. It is crazy just to see how much I've grown since being in middle school and you know, thinking am I even going to make it past middle school, like at this rate? I do not want to come to school every day. I just want to, you know, am I going to be a high school dropout here? It's insane to just see myself in college and I'm getting good grades and I'm making new connections with people and I truly feel welcomed at Concordia, which is where I go as a student right now. And it's just insane to see my growth that I didn't really understand or see when I was going through this. But now that I'm at the end and I see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is just amazing to feel welcomed and not feel this pressure on me. And now I'm stressed about academics rather than I'm stressed about what's going to happen at school in my social life.
Missy Heilman
14:17
So what would you tell your younger self, Gabby?
Gabby Wolf
14:20
I would tell her that nothing is gonna matter in a few weeks, months, years, whatever it is, it will not matter and you'll grow, you know, you'll grow up, you'll meet new people, like it will not matter.
Missy Heilman
14:35
So to keep going and not to stress about what's happening in middle school or high school because soon you'll be on a level playing field when whether you go to college or you join the military, you know, it's a new fresh start. And that's what you're experiencing right now?
Gabby Wolf
14:53
Yes.
Missy Heilman
14:54
Hmm. Well I so appreciate you sharing some insight with us. Is there any final words of wisdom that you would like to give girls who are in BIO Girls right now or that you would like to share with parents of BIO Girls based on your experience?
Gabby Wolf
15:14
I would honestly just say stick with it and it will get better. Like you just need to trust the process and trust BIO Girls and you need to know that there are people there for you and that they are always going to put your best interest forward no matter what it is. You just need to believe that something good is going to come out of what you're going through right now.
Missy Heilman
15:34
Great advice. Thank you so much Gabby. Best of luck at college. Why don't you, why don't you tell us what your major is and what your future goals are?
Gabby Wolf
15:45
I currently am undecided on my major. I'm thinking either by biology or chemistry, but I am pre-med and I'm going to hopefully work with children.
Missy Heilman
15:54
Fantastic. Well, best wishes to you. I am so proud of you and it was great to reconnect.
Gabby Wolf
16:03
Thank you.