Behind the Lessons: Healthy Relationships!
Has your daughter…
Come home upset because a friend told her they were no longer friends?
Been told who she can and cannot be friends with?
Been teased or taunted by a friend?
My daughter experienced scenario 1 in 3rd grade. A girl who lived in our neighborhood and spent hours at our house one day told my daughter they were no longer friends and proceeded to recruit a group of girls to tease, taunt and ignore my daughter. The effects of this betrayal have haunted my daughter through her growing years as she still struggles to trust the relationships she builds with peers. Thankfully, she has also seen the opposite of this cruelty in her best friend, a girl who has stood by her side since that time.
At BIO Girls, we have included a healthy relationship lesson in our curriculum since 2016. Friends are a critical part of adolescent development and provide a sense of belonging that helps girls feel secure, self-confident and more courageous. Unfortunately, the situations previously described are all-to-common for adolescent girls. Whereas boys will get angry, get in a fight and be buddies the next day, girls are more likely to engage in relational aggression, a type of bullying that is directed towards friends or those in the same social circle. It surfaces as sarcasm, spreading rumors, exclusion, whispering, and other actions aimed at damaging the target’s social status.
BIO Girls participants have shared that the aggressors are a friend one day and an aggressor the next. The bullying creates self-doubt and confusion in the recipient, making them think THEY need to change. Relational aggression can be very damaging to the self-esteem of those targeted.
In the lesson that covers relational aggression, Faith, our mascot and lead character in the 2021 curriculum, will describe a personal situation with a mean girl – a situation that many participants will be able to relate to. Throughout the session, participants will practice dealing with situations in which they are the target of this aggression. However, the lesson also provides the opportunity for participants to reflect on their own bullying tendencies and dig into the reason they may be the aggressor. Bringing awareness to both sides of the issue will help participants grow and gain confidence in dealing with these situations; and a realization that respect and kindness starts with each of us.
